Saturday, 20 June 2015
Since mother's passing.
Just came back from business trip today. Luis vomited just now during midnight. While sitting on the rocking chair waiting for him to fall back to sleep I thought of mother again. Many thoughts recently revolve around the hospital days. Perhaps because they are most recent.
The other day I was thinking of how she would have felt if she knew that she would not go home anymore on the day my brother brought her to the GP and he recommended her to go to the hospital.
Of course it's good that she didn't know. How sad it will be if she did.
I also kept thinking of how she looked when the nurses opened the curtain after they have cleaned her up for us to say our goodbyes. And how she looked after they removed her tube and put on her dentures. How her head droops down the side and her mouth can't close which we suspected was due to the bottom dentures not placed properly.
I also thought about whether she was in great suffering between the time Christine left and the time she collapsed. She was breathless, and was she terribly uncomfortable right before she collapsed?
When they tried to resuscitate her, I know medically she didn't come back. Did she suffer during this resuscitation? Were her ears still hearing what was going on? Did she hear us when we were saying our goodbyes?
Is a person's passing from Earth meant to be painful?